by Robert W
Chambers
"Let the red dawn surmise
What we shall do,
When this blue starlight dies
And all is through."
I
There
are so many things which are impossible to explain! Why should certain chords
in music make me think of the brown and golden tints of autumn foliage? Why should
the Mass of Sainte Cécile bend my thoughts wandering among caverns whose walls
blaze with ragged masses of virgin silver? What was it in the roar and turmoil
of Broadway at six o'clock that flashed before my eyes the picture of a still
Breton forest where sunlight filtered through spring foliage and Sylvia bent,
half curiously, half tenderly, over a small green lizard, murmuring: "To
think that this also is a little ward of God!"
When I first saw the watchman his back was toward
me. I looked at him indifferently until he went into the church. I paid no more
attention to him than I had to any other man who lounged through Washington
Square that morning, and when I shut my window and turned back into my studio I
had forgotten him. Late in the afternoon, the day being warm, I raised the
window again and leaned out to get a sniff of air. A man was standing in the
courtyard of the church, and I noticed him again with as little interest as I
had that morning. I looked across the square to where the fountain was playing
and then, with my mind filled with vague impressions of trees, asphalt drives,
and the moving groups of nursemaids and holiday-makers, I started to walk back
to my easel. As I turned, my listless glance included the man below in the
churchyard. His face was toward me now, and with a perfectly involuntary
movement I bent to see it. At the same moment he raised his head and looked at
me. Instantly I thought of a coffin-worm. Whatever it was about the man that
repelled me I did not know, but the impression of a plump white grave-worm was
so intense and nauseating that I must have shown it in my expression, for he
turned his puffy face away with a movement which made me think of a disturbed
grub in a chestnut.
I went back to my easel and motioned the model to
resume her pose. After working a while I was satisfied that I was spoiling what
I had done as rapidly as possible, and I took up a palette knife and scraped
the colour out again. The flesh tones were sallow and unhealthy, and I did not
understand how I could have painted such sickly colour into a study which
before that had glowed with healthy tones.
I looked at Tessie. She had not changed, and the
clear flush of health dyed her neck and cheeks as I frowned.
"Is it something I've done?" she said.
"No,—I've made a mess of this arm, and for
the life of me I can't see how I came to paint such mud as that into the
canvas," I replied.
"Don't I pose well?" she insisted.
"Of course, perfectly."
"Then it's not my fault?"
"No. It's my own."
"I am very sorry," she said.
I told her she could rest while I applied rag and
turpentine to the plague spot on my canvas, and she went off to smoke a
cigarette and look over the illustrations in the Courrier Français.
I did not know whether it was something in the
turpentine or a defect in the canvas, but the more I scrubbed the more that
gangrene seemed to spread. I worked like a beaver to get it out, and yet the
disease appeared to creep from limb to limb of the study before me. Alarmed, I
strove to arrest it, but now the colour on the breast changed and the whole
figure seemed to absorb the infection as a sponge soaks up water. Vigorously I
plied palette-knife, turpentine, and scraper, thinking all the time what a
séance I should hold with Duval who had sold me the canvas; but soon I noticed
that it was not the canvas which was defective nor yet the colours of Edward.
"It must be the turpentine," I thought angrily, "or else my eyes
have become so blurred and confused by the afternoon light that I can't see
straight." I called Tessie, the model. She came and leaned over my chair
blowing rings of smoke into the air.
"What have you been doing to it?" she
exclaimed
"Nothing," I growled, "it must be
this turpentine!"
"What a horrible colour it is now," she
continued. "Do you think my flesh resembles green cheese?"
"No, I don't," I said angrily; "did
you ever know me to paint like that before?"
"No, indeed!"
"Well, then!"
"It must be the turpentine, or
something," she admitted.
She slipped on a Japanese robe and walked to the
window. I scraped and rubbed until I was tired, and finally picked up my
brushes and hurled them through the canvas with a forcible expression, the tone
alone of which reached Tessie's ears.
Nevertheless she promptly began: "That's it!
Swear and act silly and ruin your brushes! You have been three weeks on that
study, and now look! What's the good of ripping the canvas? What creatures
artists are!"
I felt about as much ashamed as I usually did
after such an outbreak, and I turned the ruined canvas to the wall. Tessie
helped me clean my brushes, and then danced away to dress. From the screen she
regaled me with bits of advice concerning whole or partial loss of temper,
until, thinking, perhaps, I had been tormented sufficiently, she came out to
implore me to button her waist where she could not reach it on the shoulder.
"Everything went wrong from the time you came
back from the window and talked about that horrid-looking man you saw in the
churchyard," she announced.
"Yes, he probably bewitched the
picture," I said, yawning. I looked at my watch.
"It's after six, I know," said Tessie,
adjusting her hat before the mirror.
"Yes," I replied, "I didn't mean to
keep you so long." I leaned out of the window but recoiled with disgust,
for the young man with the pasty face stood below in the churchyard. Tessie saw
my gesture of disapproval and leaned from the window.
"Is that the man you don't like?" she whispered.
I nodded.
"I can't see his face, but he does look fat
and soft. Someway or other," she continued, turning to look at me,
"he reminds me of a dream,—an awful dream I once had. Or," she mused,
looking down at her shapely shoes, "was it a dream after all?"
"How should I know?" I smiled.
Tessie smiled in reply.
"You were in it," she said, "so
perhaps you might know something about it."
"Tessie! Tessie!" I protested,
"don't you dare flatter by saying that you dream about me!"
"But I did," she insisted; "shall I
tell you about it?"
"Go ahead," I replied, lighting a
cigarette.
Tessie leaned back on the open window-sill and
began very seriously.
"One night last winter I was lying in bed
thinking about nothing at all in particular. I had been posing for you and I
was tired out, yet it seemed impossible for me to sleep. I heard the bells in
the city ring ten, eleven, and midnight. I must have fallen asleep about
midnight because I don't remember hearing the bells after that. It seemed to me
that I had scarcely closed my eyes when I dreamed that something impelled me to
go to the window. I rose, and raising the sash leaned out. Twenty-fifth Street
was deserted as far as I could see. I began to be afraid; everything outside
seemed so—so black and uncomfortable. Then the sound of wheels in the distance
came to my ears, and it seemed to me as though that was what I must wait for.
Very slowly the wheels approached, and, finally, I could make out a vehicle
moving along the street. It came nearer and nearer, and when it passed beneath
my window I saw it was a hearse. Then, as I trembled with fear, the driver
turned and looked straight at me. When I awoke I was standing by the open
window shivering with cold, but the black-plumed hearse and the driver were
gone. I dreamed this dream again in March last, and again awoke beside the open
window. Last night the dream came again. You remember how it was raining; when
I awoke, standing at the open window, my night-dress was soaked."
"But where did I come into the dream?" I
asked.
"You—you were in the coffin; but you were not
dead."
"In the coffin?"
"Yes."
"How did you know? Could you see me?"
"No; I only knew you were there."
"Had you been eating Welsh rarebits, or
lobster salad?" I began, laughing, but the girl interrupted me with a
frightened cry.
"Hello! What's up?" I said, as she
shrank into the embrasure by the window.
"The—the man below in the churchyard;—he
drove the hearse."
"Nonsense," I said, but Tessie's eyes
were wide with terror. I went to the window and looked out. The man was gone.
"Come, Tessie," I urged, "don't be foolish. You have posed too
long; you are nervous."
"Do you think I could forget that face?"
she murmured. "Three times I saw the hearse pass below my window, and
every time the driver turned and looked up at me. Oh, his face was so white
and—and soft? It looked dead—it looked as if it had been dead a long
time."
I induced the girl to sit down and swallow a glass
of Marsala. Then I sat down beside her, and tried to give her some advice.
"Look here, Tessie," I said, "you
go to the country for a week or two, and you'll have no more dreams about
hearses. You pose all day, and when night comes your nerves are upset. You
can't keep this up. Then again, instead of going to bed when your day's work is
done, you run off to picnics at Sulzer's Park, or go to the Eldorado or Coney
Island, and when you come down here next morning you are fagged out. There was
no real hearse. There was a soft-shell crab dream."
She smiled faintly.
"What about the man in the churchyard?"
"Oh, he's only an ordinary unhealthy,
everyday creature."
"As true as my name is Tessie Reardon, I
swear to you, Mr. Scott, that the face of the man below in the churchyard is
the face of the man who drove the hearse!"
"What of it?" I said. "It's an
honest trade."
"Then you think I did see the hearse?"
"Oh," I said diplomatically, "if
you really did, it might not be unlikely that the man below drove it. There is
nothing in that."
Tessie rose, unrolled her scented handkerchief,
and taking a bit of gum from a knot in the hem, placed it in her mouth. Then
drawing on her gloves she offered me her hand, with a frank, "Good-night,
Mr. Scott," and walked out.
II
The
next morning, Thomas, the bell-boy, brought me the Herald and a bit of
news. The church next door had been sold. I thanked Heaven for it, not that
being a Catholic I had any repugnance for the congregation next door, but
because my nerves were shattered by a blatant exhorter, whose every word echoed
through the aisle of the church as if it had been my own rooms, and who
insisted on his r's with a nasal persistence which revolted my every instinct.
Then, too, there was a fiend in human shape, an organist, who reeled off some
of the grand old hymns with an interpretation of his own, and I longed for the
blood of a creature who could play the doxology with an amendment of minor
chords which one hears only in a quartet of very young undergraduates. I
believe the minister was a good man, but when he bellowed: "And the
Lorrrrd said unto Moses, the Lorrrd is a man of war; the Lorrrd is his name. My
wrath shall wax hot and I will kill you with the sworrrrd!" I wondered how
many centuries of purgatory it would take to atone for such a sin.
"Who bought the property?" I asked
Thomas.
"Nobody that I knows, sir. They do say the
gent wot owns this 'ere 'Amilton flats was lookin' at it. 'E might be a bildin'
more studios."
I walked to the window. The young man with the
unhealthy face stood by the churchyard gate, and at the mere sight of him the
same overwhelming repugnance took possession of me.
"By the way, Thomas," I said, "who
is that fellow down there?"
Thomas sniffed. "That there worm, sir? 'Es
night-watchman of the church, sir. 'E maikes me tired a-sittin' out all night
on them steps and lookin' at you insultin' like. I'd a punched 'is 'ed, sir—beg
pardon, sir—"
"Go on, Thomas."
"One night a comin' 'ome with 'Arry, the
other English boy, I sees 'im a sittin' there on them steps. We 'ad Molly and
Jen with us, sir, the two girls on the tray service, an' 'e looks so insultin'
at us that I up and sez: 'Wat you looking hat, you fat slug?'—beg pardon, sir,
but that's 'ow I sez, sir. Then 'e don't say nothin' and I sez: 'Come out and
I'll punch that puddin' 'ed.' Then I hopens the gate an' goes in, but 'e don't
say nothin', only looks insultin' like. Then I 'its 'im one, but, ugh! 'is 'ed
was that cold and mushy it ud sicken you to touch 'im."
"What did he do then?" I asked
curiously.
"'Im? Nawthin'."
"And you, Thomas?"
The young fellow flushed with embarrassment and
smiled uneasily.
"Mr. Scott, sir, I ain't no coward, an' I
can't make it out at all why I run. I was in the 5th Lawncers, sir, bugler at
Tel-el-Kebir, an' was shot by the wells."
"You don't mean to say you ran away?"
"Yes, sir; I run."
"Why?"
"That's just what I want to know, sir. I
grabbed Molly an' run, an' the rest was as frightened as I."
"But what were they frightened at?"
Thomas refused to answer for a while, but now my
curiosity was aroused about the repulsive young man below and I pressed him.
Three years' sojourn in America had not only modified Thomas' cockney dialect
but had given him the American's fear of ridicule.
"You won't believe me, Mr. Scott, sir?"
"Yes, I will."
"You will lawf at me, sir?"
"Nonsense!"
He hesitated. "Well, sir, it's Gawd's truth
that when I 'it 'im 'e grabbed me wrists, sir, and when I twisted 'is soft,
mushy fist one of 'is fingers come off in me 'and."
The utter loathing and horror of Thomas' face must
have been reflected in my own, for he added:
"It's orful, an' now when I see 'im I just go
away. 'E maikes me hill."
When Thomas had gone I went to the window. The man
stood beside the church-railing with both hands on the gate, but I hastily
retreated to my easel again, sickened and horrified, for I saw that the middle
finger of his right hand was missing.
At nine o'clock Tessie appeared and vanished
behind the screen with a merry "Good morning, Mr. Scott." When she
had reappeared and taken her pose upon the model-stand I started a new canvas,
much to her delight. She remained silent as long as I was on the drawing, but
as soon as the scrape of the charcoal ceased and I took up my fixative she
began to chatter.
"Oh, I had such a lovely time last night. We
went to Tony Pastor's."
"Who are 'we'?" I demanded.
"Oh, Maggie, you know, Mr. Whyte's model, and
Pinkie McCormick—we call her Pinkie because she's got that beautiful red hair
you artists like so much—and Lizzie Burke."
I sent a shower of spray from the fixative over
the canvas, and said: "Well, go on."
"We saw Kelly and Baby Barnes the
skirt-dancer and—and all the rest. I made a mash."
"Then you have gone back on me, Tessie?"
She laughed and shook her head.
"He's Lizzie Burke's brother, Ed. He's a
perfect gen'l'man."
I felt constrained to give her some parental
advice concerning mashing, which she took with a bright smile.
"Oh, I can take care of a strange mash,"
she said, examining her chewing gum, "but Ed is different. Lizzie is my
best friend."
Then she related how Ed had come back from the
stocking mill in Lowell, Massachusetts, to find her and Lizzie grown up, and
what an accomplished young man he was, and how he thought nothing of
squandering half-a-dollar for ice-cream and oysters to celebrate his entry as
clerk into the woollen department of Macy's. Before she finished I began to
paint, and she resumed the pose, smiling and chattering like a sparrow. By noon
I had the study fairly well rubbed in and Tessie came to look at it.
"That's better," she said.
I thought so too, and ate my lunch with a
satisfied feeling that all was going well. Tessie spread her lunch on a drawing
table opposite me and we drank our claret from the same bottle and lighted our
cigarettes from the same match. I was very much attached to Tessie. I had
watched her shoot up into a slender but exquisitely formed woman from a frail,
awkward child. She had posed for me during the last three years, and among all
my models she was my favourite. It would have troubled me very much indeed had
she become "tough" or "fly," as the phrase goes, but I
never noticed any deterioration of her manner, and felt at heart that she was
all right. She and I never discussed morals at all, and I had no intention of
doing so, partly because I had none myself, and partly because I knew she would
do what she liked in spite of me. Still I did hope she would steer clear of
complications, because I wished her well, and then also I had a selfish desire
to retain the best model I had. I knew that mashing, as she termed it, had no
significance with girls like Tessie, and that such things in America did not
resemble in the least the same things in Paris. Yet, having lived with my eyes
open, I also knew that somebody would take Tessie away some day, in one manner
or another, and though I professed to myself that marriage was nonsense, I
sincerely hoped that, in this case, there would be a priest at the end of the
vista. I am a Catholic. When I listen to high mass, when I sign myself, I feel
that everything, including myself, is more cheerful, and when I confess, it
does me good. A man who lives as much alone as I do, must confess to somebody.
Then, again, Sylvia was Catholic, and it was reason enough for me. But I was speaking
of Tessie, which is very different. Tessie also was Catholic and much more
devout than I, so, taking it all in all, I had little fear for my pretty model
until she should fall in love. But then I knew that fate alone would decide her
future for her, and I prayed inwardly that fate would keep her away from men
like me and throw into her path nothing but Ed Burkes and Jimmy McCormicks,
bless her sweet face!
Tessie sat blowing rings of smoke up to the
ceiling and tinkling the ice in her tumbler.
"Do you know that I also had a dream last
night?" I observed.
"Not about that man," she laughed.
"Exactly. A dream similar to yours, only much
worse."
It was foolish and thoughtless of me to say this,
but you know how little tact the average painter has. "I must have fallen
asleep about ten o'clock," I continued, "and after a while I dreamt
that I awoke. So plainly did I hear the midnight bells, the wind in the
tree-branches, and the whistle of steamers from the bay, that even now I can
scarcely believe I was not awake. I seemed to be lying in a box which had a
glass cover. Dimly I saw the street lamps as I passed, for I must tell you,
Tessie, the box in which I reclined appeared to lie in a cushioned wagon which
jolted me over a stony pavement. After a while I became impatient and tried to
move, but the box was too narrow. My hands were crossed on my breast, so I
could not raise them to help myself. I listened and then tried to call. My
voice was gone. I could hear the trample of the horses attached to the wagon,
and even the breathing of the driver. Then another sound broke upon my ears
like the raising of a window sash. I managed to turn my head a little, and
found I could look, not only through the glass cover of my box, but also
through the glass panes in the side of the covered vehicle. I saw houses, empty
and silent, with neither light nor life about any of them excepting one. In
that house a window was open on the first floor, and a figure all in white
stood looking down into the street. It was you."
Tessie had turned her face away from me and leaned
on the table with her elbow.
"I could see your face," I resumed,
"and it seemed to me to be very sorrowful. Then we passed on and turned
into a narrow black lane. Presently the horses stopped. I waited and waited,
closing my eyes with fear and impatience, but all was silent as the grave.
After what seemed to me hours, I began to feel uncomfortable. A sense that
somebody was close to me made me unclose my eyes. Then I saw the white face of
the hearse-driver looking at me through the coffin-lid——"
A sob from Tessie interrupted me. She was
trembling like a leaf. I saw I had made an ass of myself and attempted to
repair the damage.
"Why, Tess," I said, "I only told
you this to show you what influence your story might have on another person's
dreams. You don't suppose I really lay in a coffin, do you? What are you
trembling for? Don't you see that your dream and my unreasonable dislike for
that inoffensive watchman of the church simply set my brain working as soon as
I fell asleep?"
She laid her head between her arms, and sobbed as
if her heart would break. What a precious triple donkey I had made of myself!
But I was about to break my record. I went over and put my arm about her.
"Tessie dear, forgive me," I said;
"I had no business to frighten you with such nonsense. You are too
sensible a girl, too good a Catholic to believe in dreams."
Her hand tightened on mine and her head fell back
upon my shoulder, but she still trembled and I petted her and comforted her.
"Come, Tess, open your eyes and smile."
Her eyes opened with a slow languid movement and
met mine, but their expression was so queer that I hastened to reassure her
again.
"It's all humbug, Tessie; you surely are not
afraid that any harm will come to you because of that."
"No," she said, but her scarlet lips
quivered.
"Then, what's the matter? Are you
afraid?"
"Yes. Not for myself."
"For me, then?" I demanded gaily.
"For you," she murmured in a voice
almost inaudible. "I—I care for you."
At first I started to laugh, but when I understood
her, a shock passed through me, and I sat like one turned to stone. This was
the crowning bit of idiocy I had committed. During the moment which elapsed
between her reply and my answer I thought of a thousand responses to that innocent
confession. I could pass it by with a laugh, I could misunderstand her and
assure her as to my health, I could simply point out that it was impossible she
could love me. But my reply was quicker than my thoughts, and I might think and
think now when it was too late, for I had kissed her on the mouth.
That evening I took my usual walk in Washington
Park, pondering over the occurrences of the day. I was thoroughly committed.
There was no back out now, and I stared the future straight in the face. I was
not good, not even scrupulous, but I had no idea of deceiving either myself or
Tessie. The one passion of my life lay buried in the sunlit forests of
Brittany. Was it buried for ever? Hope cried "No!" For three years I
had been listening to the voice of Hope, and for three years I had waited for a
footstep on my threshold. Had Sylvia forgotten? "No!" cried Hope.
I said that I was no good. That is true, but still
I was not exactly a comic opera villain. I had led an easy-going reckless life,
taking what invited me of pleasure, deploring and sometimes bitterly regretting
consequences. In one thing alone, except my painting, was I serious, and that
was something which lay hidden if not lost in the Breton forests.
It was too late for me to regret what had occurred
during the day. Whatever it had been, pity, a sudden tenderness for sorrow, or
the more brutal instinct of gratified vanity, it was all the same now, and
unless I wished to bruise an innocent heart, my path lay marked before me. The
fire and strength, the depth of passion of a love which I had never even
suspected, with all my imagined experience in the world, left me no alternative
but to respond or send her away. Whether because I am so cowardly about giving
pain to others, or whether it was that I have little of the gloomy Puritan in
me, I do not know, but I shrank from disclaiming responsibility for that
thoughtless kiss, and in fact had no time to do so before the gates of her
heart opened and the flood poured forth. Others who habitually do their duty
and find a sullen satisfaction in making themselves and everybody else unhappy,
might have withstood it. I did not. I dared not. After the storm had abated I
did tell her that she might better have loved Ed Burke and worn a plain gold
ring, but she would not hear of it, and I thought perhaps as long as she had
decided to love somebody she could not marry, it had better be me. I, at least,
could treat her with an intelligent affection, and whenever she became tired of
her infatuation she could go none the worse for it. For I was decided on that
point although I knew how hard it would be. I remembered the usual termination
of Platonic liaisons, and thought how disgusted I had been whenever I heard of
one. I knew I was undertaking a great deal for so unscrupulous a man as I was,
and I dreamed the future, but never for one moment did I doubt that she was
safe with me. Had it been anybody but Tessie I should not have bothered my head
about scruples. For it did not occur to me to sacrifice Tessie as I would have
sacrificed a woman of the world. I looked the future squarely in the face and
saw the several probable endings to the affair. She would either tire of the
whole thing, or become so unhappy that I should have either to marry her or go
away. If I married her we would be unhappy. I with a wife unsuited to me, and
she with a husband unsuitable for any woman. For my past life could scarcely
entitle me to marry. If I went away she might either fall ill, recover, and
marry some Eddie Burke, or she might recklessly or deliberately go and do
something foolish. On the other hand, if she tired of me, then her whole life
would be before her with beautiful vistas of Eddie Burkes and marriage rings
and twins and Harlem flats and Heaven knows what. As I strolled along through
the trees by the Washington Arch, I decided that she should find a substantial
friend in me, anyway, and the future could take care of itself. Then I went
into the house and put on my evening dress, for the little faintly-perfumed
note on my dresser said, "Have a cab at the stage door at eleven,"
and the note was signed "Edith Carmichel, Metropolitan Theatre."
I took supper that night, or rather we took
supper, Miss Carmichel and I, at Solari's, and the dawn was just beginning to
gild the cross on the Memorial Church as I entered Washington Square after
leaving Edith at the Brunswick. There was not a soul in the park as I passed
along the trees and took the walk which leads from the Garibaldi statue to the
Hamilton Apartment House, but as I passed the churchyard I saw a figure sitting
on the stone steps. In spite of myself a chill crept over me at the sight of
the white puffy face, and I hastened to pass. Then he said something which
might have been addressed to me or might merely have been a mutter to himself,
but a sudden furious anger flamed up within me that such a creature should
address me. For an instant I felt like wheeling about and smashing my stick
over his head, but I walked on, and entering the Hamilton went to my apartment.
For some time I tossed about the bed trying to get the sound of his voice out
of my ears, but could not. It filled my head, that muttering sound, like thick
oily smoke from a fat-rendering vat or an odour of noisome decay. And as I lay
and tossed about, the voice in my ears seemed more distinct, and I began to
understand the words he had muttered. They came to me slowly as if I had
forgotten them, and at last I could make some sense out of the sounds. It was
this:
"Have you found the Yellow Sign?"
"Have you found the Yellow Sign?"
"Have you found the Yellow Sign?"
I was furious. What did he mean by that? Then with
a curse upon him and his I rolled over and went to sleep, but when I awoke
later I looked pale and haggard, for I had dreamed the dream of the night
before, and it troubled me more than I cared to think.
I dressed and went down into my studio. Tessie sat
by the window, but as I came in she rose and put both arms around my neck for
an innocent kiss. She looked so sweet and dainty that I kissed her again and
then sat down before the easel.
"Hello! Where's the study I began
yesterday?" I asked.
Tessie looked conscious, but did not answer. I
began to hunt among the piles of canvases, saying, "Hurry up, Tess, and
get ready; we must take advantage of the morning light."
When at last I gave up the search among the other
canvases and turned to look around the room for the missing study I noticed
Tessie standing by the screen with her clothes still on.
"What's the matter," I asked,
"don't you feel well?"
"Yes."
"Then hurry."
"Do you want me to pose as—as I have always
posed?"
Then I understood. Here was a new complication. I
had lost, of course, the best nude model I had ever seen. I looked at Tessie.
Her face was scarlet. Alas! Alas! We had eaten of the tree of knowledge, and
Eden and native innocence were dreams of the past—I mean for her.
I suppose she noticed the disappointment on my
face, for she said: "I will pose if you wish. The study is behind the
screen here where I put it."
"No," I said, "we will begin
something new;" and I went into my wardrobe and picked out a Moorish
costume which fairly blazed with tinsel. It was a genuine costume, and Tessie
retired to the screen with it enchanted. When she came forth again I was
astonished. Her long black hair was bound above her forehead with a circlet of
turquoises, and the ends, curled about her glittering girdle. Her feet were
encased in the embroidered pointed slippers and the skirt of her costume,
curiously wrought with arabesques in silver, fell to her ankles. The deep
metallic blue vest embroidered with silver and the short Mauresque jacket
spangled and sewn with turquoises became her wonderfully. She came up to me and
held up her face smiling. I slipped my hand into my pocket, and drawing out a
gold chain with a cross attached, dropped it over her head.
"It's yours, Tessie."
"Mine?" she faltered.
"Yours. Now go and pose," Then with a
radiant smile she ran behind the screen and presently reappeared with a little
box on which was written my name.
"I had intended to give it to you when I went
home to-night," she said, "but I can't wait now."
I opened the box. On the pink cotton inside lay a
clasp of black onyx, on which was inlaid a curious symbol or letter in gold. It
was neither Arabic nor Chinese, nor, as I found afterwards, did it belong to
any human script.
"It's all I had to give you for a
keepsake," she said timidly.
I was annoyed, but I told her how much I should
prize it, and promised to wear it always. She fastened it on my coat beneath
the lapel.
"How foolish, Tess, to go and buy me such a
beautiful thing as this," I said.
"I did not buy it," she laughed.
"Where did you get it?"
Then she told me how she had found it one day
while coming from the Aquarium in the Battery, how she had advertised it and
watched the papers, but at last gave up all hopes of finding the owner.
"That was last winter," she said,
"the very day I had the first horrid dream about the hearse."
I remembered my dream of the previous night but
said nothing, and presently my charcoal was flying over a new canvas, and
Tessie stood motionless on the model-stand.
III
The
day following was a disastrous one for me. While moving a framed canvas from
one easel to another my foot slipped on the polished floor, and I fell heavily
on both wrists. They were so badly sprained that it was useless to attempt to
hold a brush, and I was obliged to wander about the studio, glaring at
unfinished drawings and sketches, until despair seized me and I sat down to
smoke and twiddle my thumbs with rage. The rain blew against the windows and
rattled on the roof of the church, driving me into a nervous fit with its
interminable patter. Tessie sat sewing by the window, and every now and then
raised her head and looked at me with such innocent compassion that I began to
feel ashamed of my irritation and looked about for something to occupy me. I
had read all the papers and all the books in the library, but for the sake of
something to do I went to the bookcases and shoved them open with my elbow. I
knew every volume by its colour and examined them all, passing slowly around
the library and whistling to keep up my spirits. I was turning to go into the
dining-room when my eye fell upon a book bound in serpent skin, standing in a
corner of the top shelf of the last bookcase. I did not remember it, and from
the floor could not decipher the pale lettering on the back, so I went to the
smoking-room and called Tessie. She came in from the studio and climbed up to
reach the book.
"What is it?" I asked.
"The King in Yellow."
I was dumfounded. Who had placed it there? How
came it in my rooms? I had long ago decided that I should never open that book,
and nothing on earth could have persuaded me to buy it. Fearful lest curiosity
might tempt me to open it, I had never even looked at it in book-stores. If I
ever had had any curiosity to read it, the awful tragedy of young Castaigne,
whom I knew, prevented me from exploring its wicked pages. I had always refused
to listen to any description of it, and indeed, nobody ever ventured to discuss
the second part aloud, so I had absolutely no knowledge of what those leaves
might reveal. I stared at the poisonous mottled binding as I would at a snake.
"Don't touch it, Tessie," I said;
"come down."
Of course my admonition was enough to arouse her
curiosity, and before I could prevent it she took the book and, laughing,
danced off into the studio with it. I called to her, but she slipped away with
a tormenting smile at my helpless hands, and I followed her with some
impatience.
"Tessie!" I cried, entering the library,
"listen, I am serious. Put that book away. I do not wish you to open
it!" The library was empty. I went into both drawing-rooms, then into the
bedrooms, laundry, kitchen, and finally returned to the library and began a
systematic search. She had hidden herself so well that it was half-an-hour
later when I discovered her crouching white and silent by the latticed window
in the store-room above. At the first glance I saw she had been punished for
her foolishness. The King in Yellow lay at her feet, but the book was
open at the second part. I looked at Tessie and saw it was too late. She had
opened The King in Yellow. Then I took her by the hand and led her into
the studio. She seemed dazed, and when I told her to lie down on the sofa she
obeyed me without a word. After a while she closed her eyes and her breathing
became regular and deep, but I could not determine whether or not she slept. For
a long while I sat silently beside her, but she neither stirred nor spoke, and
at last I rose, and, entering the unused store-room, took the book in my least
injured hand. It seemed heavy as lead, but I carried it into the studio again,
and sitting down on the rug beside the sofa, opened it and read it through from
beginning to end.
When, faint with excess of my emotions, I dropped
the volume and leaned wearily back against the sofa, Tessie opened her eyes and
looked at me....
We
had been speaking for some time in a dull monotonous strain before I realized
that we were discussing The King in Yellow. Oh the sin of writing such
words,—words which are clear as crystal, limpid and musical as bubbling
springs, words which sparkle and glow like the poisoned diamonds of the
Medicis! Oh the wickedness, the hopeless damnation of a soul who could
fascinate and paralyze human creatures with such words,—words understood by the
ignorant and wise alike, words which are more precious than jewels, more
soothing than music, more awful than death!
We talked on, unmindful of the gathering shadows,
and she was begging me to throw away the clasp of black onyx quaintly inlaid
with what we now knew to be the Yellow Sign. I never shall know why I refused,
though even at this hour, here in my bedroom as I write this confession, I
should be glad to know what it was that prevented me from tearing the Yellow
Sign from my breast and casting it into the fire. I am sure I wished to do so,
and yet Tessie pleaded with me in vain. Night fell and the hours dragged on,
but still we murmured to each other of the King and the Pallid Mask, and
midnight sounded from the misty spires in the fog-wrapped city. We spoke of
Hastur and of Cassilda, while outside the fog rolled against the blank window-panes
as the cloud waves roll and break on the shores of Hali.
The house was very silent now, and not a sound
came up from the misty streets. Tessie lay among the cushions, her face a grey
blot in the gloom, but her hands were clasped in mine, and I knew that she knew
and read my thoughts as I read hers, for we had understood the mystery of the
Hyades and the Phantom of Truth was laid. Then as we answered each other,
swiftly, silently, thought on thought, the shadows stirred in the gloom about
us, and far in the distant streets we heard a sound. Nearer and nearer it came,
the dull crunching of wheels, nearer and yet nearer, and now, outside before
the door it ceased, and I dragged myself to the window and saw a black-plumed
hearse. The gate below opened and shut, and I crept shaking to my door and
bolted it, but I knew no bolts, no locks, could keep that creature out who was
coming for the Yellow Sign. And now I heard him moving very softly along the
hall. Now he was at the door, and the bolts rotted at his touch. Now he had
entered. With eyes starting from my head I peered into the darkness, but when
he came into the room I did not see him. It was only when I felt him envelope
me in his cold soft grasp that I cried out and struggled with deadly fury, but
my hands were useless and he tore the onyx clasp from my coat and struck me
full in the face. Then, as I fell, I heard Tessie's soft cry and her spirit
fled: and even while falling I longed to follow her, for I knew that the King
in Yellow had opened his tattered mantle and there was only God to cry to now.
I could tell more, but I cannot see what help it
will be to the world. As for me, I am past human help or hope. As I lie here,
writing, careless even whether or not I die before I finish, I can see the doctor
gathering up his powders and phials with a vague gesture to the good priest
beside me, which I understand.
They will be very curious to know the tragedy—they
of the outside world who write books and print millions of newspapers, but I
shall write no more, and the father confessor will seal my last words with the
seal of sanctity when his holy office is done. They of the outside world may
send their creatures into wrecked homes and death-smitten firesides, and their
newspapers will batten on blood and tears, but with me their spies must halt
before the confessional. They know that Tessie is dead and that I am dying.
They know how the people in the house, aroused by an infernal scream, rushed
into my room and found one living and two dead, but they do not know what I
shall tell them now; they do not know that the doctor said as he pointed to a
horrible decomposed heap on the floor—the livid corpse of the watchman from the
church: "I have no theory, no explanation. That man must have been dead
for months!"
I
think I am dying. I wish the priest would—
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