by LEONID ANDREYEV
I
When Lazarus rose
from the grave, after three days and nights in the mysterious thraldom of
death, and returned alive to his home, it was a long time before any one
noticed the evil peculiarities in him that were later to make his very name
terrible. His friends and relatives were jubilant that he had come back to
life. They surrounded him with tenderness, they were lavish of their eager
attentions, spending the greatest care upon his food and drink and the new
garments they made for him. They clad him gorgeously in the glowing colours of
hope and laughter, and when, arrayed like a bridegroom, he sat at table with
them again, ate again, and drank again, they wept fondly and summoned the
neighbours to look upon the man miraculously raised from the dead.
The
neighbours came and were moved with joy. Strangers arrived from distant cities
and villages to worship the miracle. They burst into stormy exclamations, and
buzzed around the house of Mary and Martha, like so many bees.
That
which was new in Lazarus’ face and gestures they explained naturally, as the
traces of his severe illness and the shock he had passed through. It was
evident that the disintegration of the body had been halted by a miraculous
power, but that the restoration had not been complete; that death had left upon
his face and body the effect of an artist’s unfinished sketch seen through a
thin glass. On his temples, under his eyes, and in the hollow of his cheek lay
a thick, earthy blue. His fingers were blue, too, and under his nails, which
had grown long in the grave, the blue had turned livid. Here and there on his
lips and body, the skin, blistered in the grave, had burst open and left
reddish glistening cracks, as if covered with a thin, glassy slime. And he had
grown exceedingly stout. His body was horribly bloated and suggested the fetid,
damp smell of putrefaction. But the cadaverous, heavy odour that clung to his
burial garments and, as it seemed, to his very body, soon wore off, and after
some time the blue of his hands and face softened, and the reddish cracks of
his skin smoothed out, though they never disappeared completely. Such was the
aspect of Lazarus in his second life. It looked natural only to those who had
seen him buried.
Not
merely Lazarus’ face, but his very character, it seemed, had changed; though it
astonished no one and did not attract the attention it deserved. Before his
death Lazarus had been cheerful and careless, a lover of laughter and harmless
jest. It was because of his good humour, pleasant and equable, his freedom from
meanness and gloom, that he had been so beloved by the Master. Now he was grave
and silent; neither he himself jested nor did he laugh at the jests of others;
and the words he spoke occasionally were simple, ordinary and necessary
words—words as much devoid of sense and depth as are the sounds with which an
animal expresses pain and pleasure, thirst and hunger. Such words a man may
speak all his life and no one would ever know the sorrows and joys that dwelt
within him.
Thus
it was that Lazarus sat at the festive table among his friends and
relatives—his face the face of a corpse over which, for three days, death had
reigned in darkness, his garments gorgeous and festive, glittering with gold,
bloody-red and purple; his mien heavy and silent. He was horribly changed and
strange, but as yet undiscovered. In high waves, now mild, now stormy, the
festivities went on around him. Warm glances of love caressed his face, still
cold with the touch of the grave; and a friend’s warm hand patted his bluish,
heavy hand. And the music played joyous tunes mingled of the sounds of the
tympanum, the pipe, the zither and the dulcimer. It was as if bees were
humming, locusts buzzing and birds singing over the happy home of Mary and
Martha.
II
Some one
recklessly lifted the veil. By one breath of an uttered word he destroyed the
serene charm, and uncovered the truth in its ugly nakedness. No thought was
clearly defined in his mind, when his lips smilingly asked: “Why do you not
tell us, Lazarus, what was There?” And all became silent, struck with the
question. Only now it seemed to have occurred to them that for three days
Lazarus had been dead; and they looked with curiosity, awaiting an answer. But
Lazarus remained silent.
“You
will not tell us?” wondered the inquirer. “Is it so terrible There?”
Again
his thought lagged behind his words. Had it preceded them, he would not have
asked the question, for, at the very moment he uttered it, his heart sank with
a dread fear. All grew restless; they awaited the words of Lazarus anxiously.
But he was silent, cold and severe, and his eyes were cast down. And now, as if
for the first time, they perceived the horrible bluishness of his face and the
loathsome corpulence of his body. On the table, as if forgotten by Lazarus, lay
his livid blue hand, and all eyes were riveted upon it, as though expecting the
desired answer from that hand. The musicians still played; then silence fell
upon them, too, and the gay sounds died down, as scattered coals are
extinguished by water. The pipe became mute, and the ringing tympanum and the
murmuring dulcimer; and as though a chord were broken, as though song itself
were dying, the zither echoed a trembling broken sound. Then all was quiet.
“You
will not?” repeated the inquirer, unable to restrain his babbling tongue.
Silence reigned, and the livid blue hand lay motionless. It moved slightly, and
the company sighed with relief and raised their eyes. Lazarus, risen from the
dead, was looking straight at them, embracing all with one glance, heavy and
terrible.
This
was on the third day after Lazarus had arisen from the grave. Since then many
had felt that his gaze was the gaze of destruction, but neither those who had
been forever crushed by it, nor those who in the prime of life (mysterious even
as death) had found the will to resist his glance, could ever explain the
terror that lay immovable in the depths of his black pupils. He looked quiet
and simple. One felt that he had no intention to hide anything, but also no
intention to tell anything. His look was cold, as of one who is entirely
indifferent to all that is alive. And many careless people who pressed around
him, and did not notice him, later learned with wonder and fear the name of
this stout, quiet man who brushed against them with his sumptuous, gaudy
garments. The sun did not stop shining when he looked, neither did the fountain
cease playing, and the Eastern sky remained cloudless and blue as always; but
the man who fell under his inscrutable gaze could no longer feel the sun, nor
hear the fountain, nor recognise his native sky. Sometimes he would cry
bitterly, sometimes tear his hair in despair and madly call for help; but
generally it happened that the men thus stricken by the gaze of Lazarus began
to fade away listlessly and quietly and pass into a slow death lasting many
long years. They died in the presence of everybody, colourless, haggard and
gloomy, like trees withering on rocky ground. Those who screamed in madness
sometimes came back to life; but the others, never.
“So
you will not tell us, Lazarus, what you saw There?” the inquirer repeated for
the third time. But now his voice was dull, and a dead, grey weariness looked
stupidly from out his eyes. The faces of all present were also covered by the
same dead grey weariness like a mist. The guests stared at one another
stupidly, not knowing why they had come together or why they sat around this
rich table. They stopped talking, and vaguely felt it was time to leave; but
they could not overcome the lassitude that spread through their muscles. So
they continued to sit there, each one isolated, like little dim lights
scattered in the darkness of night.
The
musicians were paid to play, and they again took up the instruments, and again
played gay or mournful airs. But it was music made to order, always the same
tunes, and the guests listened wonderingly. Why was this music necessary, they
thought, why was it necessary and what good did it do for people to pull at
strings and blow their cheeks into thin pipes, and produce varied and
strange-sounding noises?
“How
badly they play!” said some one.
The
musicians were insulted and left. Then the guests departed one by one, for it
was nearing night. And when the quiet darkness enveloped them, and it became
easier to breathe, the image of Lazarus suddenly arose before each one in stern
splendour. There he stood, with the blue face of a corpse and the raiment of a
bridegroom, sumptuous and resplendent, in his eyes that cold stare in the
depths of which lurked The Horrible! They stood still as if
turned into stone. The darkness surrounded them, and in the midst of this
darkness flamed up the horrible apparition, the supernatural vision, of the one
who for three days had lain under the measureless power of death. Three days he
had been dead. Thrice had the sun risen and set—and he had lain dead. The
children had played, the water had murmured as it streamed over the rocks, the
hot dust had clouded the highway—and he had been dead. And now he was among men
again—touched them—looked at them—looked at them! And through the
black rings of his pupils, as through dark glasses, the unfathomable There gazed
upon humanity.
III
No one took
care of Lazarus, and no friends or kindred remained with him. Only the great
desert, enfolding the Holy City, came close to the threshold of his abode. It
entered his home, and lay down on his couch like a spouse, and put out all the
fires. No one cared for Lazarus. One after the other went away, even his
sisters, Mary and Martha. For a long while Martha did not want to leave him,
for she knew not who would nurse him or take care of him; and she cried and
prayed. But one night, when the wind was roaming about the desert, and the
rustling cypress trees were bending over the roof, she dressed herself quietly,
and quietly went away. Lazarus probably heard how the door was slammed—it had
not shut properly and the wind kept knocking it continually against the
post—but he did not rise, did not go out, did not try to find out the reason.
And the whole night until the morning the cypress trees hissed over his head,
and the door swung to and fro, allowing the cold, greedily prowling desert to
enter his dwelling. Everybody shunned him as though he were a leper. They
wanted to put a bell on his neck to avoid meeting him. But some one, turning
pale, remarked it would be terrible if at night, under the windows, one should
happen to hear Lazarus’ bell, and all grew pale and assented.
Since
he did nothing for himself, he would probably have starved had not his
neighbours, in trepidation, saved some food for him. Children brought it to
him. They did not fear him, neither did they laugh at him in the innocent
cruelty in which children often laugh at unfortunates. They were indifferent to
him, and Lazarus showed the same indifference to them. He showed no desire to
thank them for their services; he did not try to pat the dark hands and look
into the simple shining little eyes. Abandoned to the ravages of time and the
desert, his house was falling to ruins, and his hungry, bleating goats had long
been scattered among his neighbours. His wedding garments had grown old. He
wore them without changing them, as he had donned them on that happy day when
the musicians played. He did not see the difference between old and new,
between torn and whole. The brilliant colours were burnt and faded; the vicious
dogs of the city and the sharp thorns of the desert had rent the fine clothes
to shreds.
During
the day, when the sun beat down mercilessly upon all living things, and even
the scorpions hid under the stones, convulsed with a mad desire to sting, he
sat motionless in the burning rays, lifting high his blue face and shaggy wild
beard.
While
yet the people were unafraid to speak to him, same one had asked him: “Poor
Lazarus! Do you find it pleasant to sit so, and look at the sun?” And he
answered: “Yes, it is pleasant.”
The
thought suggested itself to people that the cold of the three days in the grave
had been so intense, its darkness so deep, that there was not in all the earth
enough heat or light to warm Lazarus and lighten the gloom of his eyes; and
inquirers turned away with a sigh.
And
when the setting sun, flat and purple-red, descended to earth, Lazarus went
into the desert and walked straight toward it, as though intending to reach it.
Always he walked directly toward the sun, and those who tried to follow him and
find out what he did at night in the desert had indelibly imprinted upon their
mind’s vision the black silhouette of a tall, stout man against the red
background of an immense disk. The horrors of the night drove them away, and so
they never found out what Lazarus did in the desert; but the image of the black
form against the red was burned forever into their brains. Like an animal with
a cinder in its eye which furiously rubs its muzzle against its paws, they
foolishly rubbed their eyes; but the impression left by Lazarus was
ineffaceable, forgotten only in death.
There
were people living far away who never saw Lazarus and only heard of him. With
an audacious curiosity which is stronger than fear and feeds on fear, with a
secret sneer in their hearts, some of them came to him one day as he basked in
the sun, and entered into conversation with him. At that time his appearance
had changed for the better and was not so frightful. At first the visitors
snapped their fingers and thought disapprovingly of the foolish inhabitants of
the Holy City. But when the short talk came to an end and they went home, their
expression was such that the inhabitants of the Holy City at once knew their
errand and said: “Here go some more madmen at whom Lazarus has looked.” The
speakers raised their hands in silent pity.
Other
visitors came, among them brave warriors in clinking armour, who knew not fear,
and happy youths who made merry with laughter and song. Busy merchants,
jingling their coins, ran in for awhile, and proud attendants at the Temple
placed their staffs at Lazarus’ door. But no one returned the same as he came.
A frightful shadow fell upon their souls, and gave a new appearance to the old
familiar world.
Those
who felt any desire to speak, after they had been stricken by the gaze of
Lazarus, described the change that had come over them somewhat like this:
All
objects seen by the eye and palpable to the hand became empty, light and
transparent, as though they were light shadows in the darkness; and this
darkness enveloped the whole universe. It was dispelled neither by the sun, nor
by the moon, nor by the stars, but embraced the earth like a mother, and
clothed it in a boundless black veil.
Into
all bodies it penetrated, even into iron and stone; and the particles of the
body lost their unity and became lonely. Even to the heart of the particles it
penetrated, and the particles of the particles became lonely.
The
vast emptiness which surrounds the universe, was not filled with things seen,
with sun or moon or stars; it stretched boundless, penetrating everywhere,
disuniting everything, body from body, particle from particle.
In
emptiness the trees spread their roots, themselves empty; in emptiness rose
phantom temples, palaces and houses—all empty; and in the emptiness moved
restless Man, himself empty and light, like a shadow.
There
was no more a sense of time; the beginning of all things and their end merged
into one. In the very moment when a building was being erected and one could
hear the builders striking with their hammers, one seemed already to see its
ruins, and then emptiness where the ruins were.
A
man was just born, and funeral candles were already lighted at his head, and
then were extinguished; and soon there was emptiness where before had been the
man and the candles.
And
surrounded by Darkness and Empty Waste, Man trembled hopelessly before the
dread of the Infinite.
So
spoke those who had a desire to speak. But much more could probably have been
told by those who did not want to talk, and who died in silence.
IV
At that time
there lived in Rome a celebrated sculptor by the name of Aurelius. Out of clay,
marble and bronze he created forms of gods and men of such beauty that this
beauty was proclaimed immortal. But he himself was not satisfied, and said
there was a supreme beauty that he had never succeeded in expressing in marble
or bronze. “I have not yet gathered the radiance of the moon,” he said; “I have
not yet caught the glare of the sun. There is no soul in my marble, there is no
life in my beautiful bronze.” And when by moonlight he would slowly wander
along the roads, crossing the black shadows of the cypress-trees, his white
tunic flashing in the moonlight, those he met used to laugh good-naturedly and
say: “Is it moonlight that you are gathering, Aurelius? Why did you not bring
some baskets along?”
And
he, too, would laugh and point to his eyes and say: “Here are the baskets in
which I gather the light of the moon and the radiance of the sun.”
And
that was the truth. In his eyes shone moon and sun. But he could not transmit
the radiance to marble. Therein lay the greatest tragedy of his life. He was a
descendant of an ancient race of patricians, had a good wife and children, and
except in this one respect, lacked nothing.
When
the dark rumour about Lazarus reached him, he consulted his wife and friends
and decided to make the long voyage to Judea, in order that he might look upon
the man miraculously raised from the dead. He felt lonely in those days and
hoped on the way to renew his jaded energies. What they told him about Lazarus
did not frighten him. He had meditated much upon death. He did not like it, nor
did he like those who tried to harmonise it with life. On this side, beautiful
life; on the other, mysterious death, he reasoned, and no better lot could
befall a man than to live—to enjoy life and the beauty of living. And he
already had conceived a desire to convince Lazarus of the truth of this view
and to return his soul to life even as his body had been returned. This task
did not appear impossible, for the reports about Lazarus, fearsome and strange
as they were, did not tell the whole truth about him, but only carried a vague
warning against something awful.
Lazarus
was getting up from a stone to follow in the path of the setting sun, on the
evening when the rich Roman, accompanied by an armed slave, approached him, and
in a ringing voice called to him: “Lazarus!”
Lazarus
saw a proud and beautiful face, made radiant by fame, and white garments and
precious jewels shining in the sunlight. The ruddy rays of the sun lent to the
head and face a likeness to dimly shining bronze—that was what Lazarus saw. He
sank back to his seat obediently, and wearily lowered his eyes.
“It
is true you are not beautiful, my poor Lazarus,” said the Roman quietly,
playing with his gold chain. “You are even frightful, my poor friend; and death
was not lazy the day when you so carelessly fell into its arms. But you are as
fat as a barrel, and ‘Fat people are not bad,’ as the great Cæsar said. I do
not understand why people are so afraid of you. You will permit me to stay with
you over night? It is already late, and I have no abode.”
Nobody
had ever asked Lazarus to be allowed to pass the night with him.
“I
have no bed,” said he.
“I
am somewhat of a warrior and can sleep sitting,” replied the Roman. “We shall
make a light.”
“I
have no light.”
“Then
we will converse in the darkness like two friends. I suppose you have some
wine?”
“I
have no wine.”
The
Roman laughed.
“Now
I understand why you are so gloomy and why you do not like your second life. No
wine? Well, we shall do without. You know there are words that go to one’s head
even as Falernian wine.”
With
a motion of his head he dismissed the slave, and they were alone. And again the
sculptor spoke, but it seemed as though the sinking sun had penetrated into his
words. They faded, pale and empty, as if trembling on weak feet, as if slipping
and falling, drunk with the wine of anguish and despair. And black chasms appeared
between the two men—like remote hints of vast emptiness and vast darkness.
“Now
I am your guest and you will not ill-treat me, Lazarus!” said the Roman.
“Hospitality is binding even upon those who have been three days dead. Three
days, I am told, you were in the grave. It must have been cold there... and it
is from there that you have brought this bad habit of doing without light and
wine. I like a light. It gets dark so quickly here. Your eyebrows and forehead
have an interesting line: even as the ruins of castles covered with the ashes
of an earthquake. But why in such strange, ugly clothes? I have seen the
bridegrooms of your country, they wear clothes like that—such ridiculous
clothes—such awful garments... Are you a bridegroom?”
Already
the sun had disappeared. A gigantic black shadow was approaching fast from the
west, as if prodigious bare feet were rustling over the sand. And the chill
breezes stole up behind.
“In
the darkness you seem even bigger, Lazarus, as though you had grown stouter in
these few minutes. Do you feed on darkness, perchance?... And I would like a
light... just a small light... just a small light. And I am cold. The nights
here are so barbarously cold... If it were not so dark, I should say you were
looking at me, Lazarus. Yes, it seems, you are looking. You are looking. You
are looking at me!... I feel it—now you are smiling.”
The
night had come, and a heavy blackness filled the air.
“How
good it will be when the sun rises again to-morrow... You know I am a great
sculptor... so my friends call me. I create, yes, they say I create, but for
that daylight is necessary. I give life to cold marble. I melt the ringing
bronze in the fire, in a bright, hot fire. Why did you touch me with your
hand?”
“Come,”
said Lazarus, “you are my guest.” And they went into the house. And the shadows
of the long evening fell on the earth...
The
slave at last grew tired waiting for his master, and when the sun stood high he
came to the house. And he saw, directly under its burning rays, Lazarus and his
master sitting close together. They looked straight up and were silent.
The
slave wept and cried aloud: “Master, what ails you, Master!”
The
same day Aurelius left for Rome. The whole way he was thoughtful and silent,
attentively examining everything, the people, the ship, and the sea, as though
endeavouring to recall something. On the sea a great storm overtook them, and
all the while Aurelius remained on deck and gazed eagerly at the approaching
and falling waves. When he reached home his family were shocked at the terrible
change in his demeanour, but he calmed them with the words: “I have found it!”
In
the dusty clothes which he had worn during the entire journey and had not
changed, he began his work, and the marble ringingly responded to the resounding
blows of the hammer. Long and eagerly he worked, admitting no one. At last, one
morning, he announced that the work was ready, and gave instructions that all
his friends, and the severe critics and judges of art, be called together. Then
he donned gorgeous garments, shining with gold, glowing with the purple of the
byssin.
“Here
is what I have created,” he said thoughtfully.
His
friends looked, and immediately the shadow of deep sorrow covered their faces.
It was a thing monstrous, possessing none of the forms familiar to the eye, yet
not devoid of a hint of some new unknown form. On a thin tortuous little
branch, or rather an ugly likeness of one, lay crooked, strange, unsightly,
shapeless heaps of something turned outside in, or something turned inside out—wild
fragments which seemed to be feebly trying to get away from themselves. And,
accidentally, under one of the wild projections, they noticed a wonderfully
sculptured butterfly, with transparent wings, trembling as though with a weak
longing to fly.
“Why
that wonderful butterfly, Aurelius?” timidly asked some one.
“I
do not know,” answered the sculptor.
The
truth had to be told, and one of his friends, the one who loved Aurelius best,
said: “This is ugly, my poor friend. It must be destroyed. Give me the hammer.”
And with two blows he destroyed the monstrous mass, leaving only the
wonderfully sculptured butterfly.
After
that Aurelius created nothing. He looked with absolute indifference at marble
and at bronze and at his own divine creations, in which dwelt immortal beauty.
In the hope of breathing into him once again the old flame of inspiration, with
the idea of awakening his dead soul, his friends led him to see the beautiful
creations of others, but he remained indifferent and no smile warmed his closed
lips. And only after they spoke to him much and long of beauty, he would reply
wearily:
“But
all this is—a lie.”
And
in the daytime, when the sun was shining, he would go into his rich and
beautifully laid-out garden, and finding a place where there was no shadow,
would expose his bare head and his dull eyes to the glitter and burning heat of
the sun. Red and white butterflies fluttered around; down into the marble
cistern ran splashing water from the crooked mouth of a blissfully drunken
Satyr; but he sat motionless, like a pale shadow of that other one who, in a
far land, at the very gates of the stony desert, also sat motionless under the
fiery sun.
V
And it came
about finally that Lazarus was summoned to Rome by the great Augustus.
They
dressed him in gorgeous garments as though it had been ordained that he was to
remain a bridegroom to an unknown bride until the very day of his death. It was
as if an old coffin, rotten and falling apart, were regilded over and over, and
gay tassels were hung on it. And solemnly they conducted him in gala attire, as
though in truth it were a bridal procession, the runners loudly sounding the
trumpet that the way be made for the ambassadors of the Emperor. But the roads
along which he passed were deserted. His entire native land cursed the
execrable name of Lazarus, the man miraculously brought to life, and the people
scattered at the mere report of his horrible approach. The trumpeters blew
lonely blasts, and only the desert answered with a dying echo.
Then
they carried him across the sea on the saddest and most gorgeous ship that was
ever mirrored in the azure waves of the Mediterranean. There were many people
aboard, but the ship was silent and still as a coffin, and the water seemed to
moan as it parted before the short curved prow. Lazarus sat lonely, baring his
head to the sun, and listening in silence to the splashing of the waters.
Further away the seamen and the ambassadors gathered like a crowd of distressed
shadows. If a thunderstorm had happened to burst upon them at that time or the
wind had overwhelmed the red sails, the ship would probably have perished, for
none of those who were on her had strength or desire enough to fight for life.
With supreme effort some went to the side of the ship and eagerly gazed at the
blue, transparent abyss. Perhaps they imagined they saw a naiad flashing a pink
shoulder through the waves, or an insanely joyous and drunken centaur galloping
by, splashing up the water with his hoofs. But the sea was deserted and mute,
and so was the watery abyss.
Listlessly
Lazarus set foot on the streets of the Eternal City, as though all its riches,
all the majesty of its gigantic edifices, all the lustre and beauty and music
of refined life, were simply the echo of the wind in the desert, or the misty
images of hot running sand. Chariots whirled by; the crowd of strong,
beautiful, haughty men passed on, builders of the Eternal City and proud
partakers of its life; songs rang out; fountains laughed; pearly laughter of
women filled the air, while the drunkard philosophised and the sober ones
smilingly listened; horseshoes rattled on the pavement. And surrounded on all
sides by glad sounds, a fat, heavy man moved through the centre of the city
like a cold spot of silence, sowing in his path grief, anger and vague, carking
distress. Who dared to be sad in Rome? indignantly demanded frowning citizens;
and in two days the swift-tongued Rome knew of Lazarus, the man miraculously
raised from the grave, and timidly evaded him.
There
were many brave men ready to try their strength, and at their senseless call
Lazarus came obediently. The Emperor was so engrossed with state affairs that
he delayed receiving the visitor, and for seven days Lazarus moved among the
people.
A
jovial drunkard met him with a smile on his red lips. “Drink, Lazarus, drink!”
he cried, “Would not Augustus laugh to see you drink!” And naked, besotted
women laughed, and decked the blue hands of Lazarus with rose-leaves. But the
drunkard looked into the eyes of Lazarus—and his joy ended forever. Thereafter he
was always drunk. He drank no more, but was drunk all the time, shadowed by
fearful dreams, instead of the joyous reveries that wine gives. Fearful dreams
became the food of his broken spirit. Fearful dreams held him day and night in
the mists of monstrous fantasy, and death itself was no more fearful than the
apparition of its fierce precursor.
Lazarus
came to a youth and his lass who loved each other and were beautiful in their
love. Proudly and strongly holding in his arms his beloved one, the youth said,
with gentle pity: “Look at us, Lazarus, and rejoice with us. Is there anything
stronger than love?”
And
Lazarus looked at them. And their whole life they continued to love one
another, but their love became mournful and gloomy, even as those cypress trees
over the tombs that feed their roots on the putrescence of the grave, and
strive in vain in the quiet evening hour to touch the sky with their pointed
tops. Hurled by fathomless life-forces into each other’s arms, they mingled
their kisses with tears, their joy with pain, and only succeeded in realising
the more vividly a sense of their slavery to the silent Nothing. Forever
united, forever parted, they flashed like sparks, and like sparks went out in
boundless darkness.
Lazarus
came to a proud sage, and the sage said to him: “I already know all the horrors
that you may tell me, Lazarus. With what else can you terrify me?”
Only
a few moments passed before the sage realised that the knowledge of the
horrible is not the horrible, and that the sight of death is not death. And he
felt that in the eyes of the Infinite wisdom and folly are the same, for the
Infinite knows them not. And the boundaries between knowledge and ignorance,
between truth and falsehood, between top and bottom, faded and his shapeless thought
was suspended in emptiness. Then he grasped his grey head in his hands and
cried out insanely: “I cannot think! I cannot think!”
Thus
it was that under the cool gaze of Lazarus, the man miraculously raised from
the dead, all that serves to affirm life, its sense and its joys, perished. And
people began to say it was dangerous to allow him to see the Emperor; that it
were better to kill him and bury him secretly, and swear he had disappeared.
Swords were sharpened and youths devoted to the welfare of the people announced
their readiness to become assassins, when Augustus upset the cruel plans by
demanding that Lazarus appear before him.
Even
though Lazarus could not be kept away, it was felt that the heavy impression
conveyed by his face might be somewhat softened. With that end in view expert
painters, barbers and artists were secured who worked the whole night on
Lazarus’ head. His beard was trimmed and curled. The disagreeable and deadly
bluishness of his hands and face was covered up with paint; his hands were
whitened, his cheeks rouged. The disgusting wrinkles of suffering that ridged
his old face were patched up and painted, and on the smooth surface, wrinkles
of good-nature and laughter, and of pleasant, good-humoured cheeriness, were
laid on artistically with fine brushes.
Lazarus
submitted indifferently to all they did with him, and soon was transformed into
a stout, nice-looking old man, for all the world a quiet and good-humoured
grandfather of numerous grandchildren. He looked as though the smile with which
he told funny stories had not left his lips, as though a quiet tenderness still
lay hidden in the corner of his eyes. But the wedding-dress they did not dare
to take off; and they could not change his eyes—the dark, terrible eyes from
out of which stared the incomprehensible There.
VI
Lazarus was
untouched by the magnificence of the imperial apartments. He remained stolidly
indifferent, as though he saw no contrast between his ruined house at the edge
of the desert and the solid, beautiful palace of stone. Under his feet the hard
marble of the floor took on the semblance of the moving sands of the desert,
and to his eyes the throngs of gaily dressed, haughty men were as unreal as the
emptiness of the air. They looked not into his face as he passed by, fearing to
come under the awful bane of his eyes; but when the sound of his heavy steps
announced that he had passed, heads were lifted, and eyes examined with timid
curiosity the figure of the corpulent, tall, slightly stooping old man, as he slowly
passed into the heart of the imperial palace. If death itself had appeared men
would not have feared it so much; for hitherto death had been known to the dead
only, and life to the living only, and between these two there had been no
bridge. But this strange being knew death, and that knowledge of his was felt
to be mysterious and cursed. “He will kill our great, divine Augustus,” men
cried with horror, and they hurled curses after him. Slowly and stolidly he
passed them by, penetrating ever deeper into the palace.
Caesar
knew already who Lazarus was, and was prepared to meet him. He was a courageous
man; he felt his power was invincible, and in the fateful encounter with the
man “wonderfully raised from the dead” he refused to lean on other men’s weak help.
Man to man, face to face, he met Lazarus.
“Do
not fix your gaze on me, Lazarus,” he commanded. “I have heard that your head
is like the head of Medusa, and turns into stone all upon whom you look. But I
should like to have a close look at you, and to talk to you before I turn into
stone,” he added in a spirit of playfulness that concealed his real misgivings.
Approaching
him, he examined closely Lazarus’ face and his strange festive clothes. Though
his eyes were sharp and keen, he was deceived by the skilful counterfeit.
“Well,
your appearance is not terrible, venerable sir. But all the worse for men, when
the terrible takes on such a venerable and pleasant appearance. Now let us
talk.”
Augustus
sat down, and as much by glance as by words began the discussion. “Why did you
not salute me when you entered?”
Lazarus
answered indifferently: “I did not know it was necessary.”
“You
are a Christian?”
“No.”
Augustus
nodded approvingly. “That is good. I do not like the Christians. They shake the
tree of life, forbidding it to bear fruit, and they scatter to the wind its
fragrant blossoms. But who are you?”
With
some effort Lazarus answered: “I was dead.”
“I
heard about that. But who are you now?”
Lazarus’
answer came slowly. Finally he said again, listlessly and indistinctly: “I was
dead.”
“Listen
to me, stranger,” said the Emperor sharply, giving expression to what had been
in his mind before. “My empire is an empire of the living; my people are a
people of the living and not of the dead. You are superfluous here. I do not
know who you are, I do not know what you have seen There, but if you lie, I
hate your lies, and if you tell the truth, I hate your truth. In my heart I
feel the pulse of life; in my hands I feel power, and my proud thoughts, like
eagles, fly through space. Behind my back, under the protection of my
authority, under the shadow of the laws I have created, men live and labour and
rejoice. Do you hear this divine harmony of life? Do you hear the war cry that
men hurl into the face of the future, challenging it to strife?”
Augustus
extended his arms reverently and solemnly cried out: “Blessed art thou, Great
Divine Life!”
But
Lazarus was silent, and the Emperor continued more severely: “You are not
wanted here. Pitiful remnant, half devoured of death, you fill men with
distress and aversion to life. Like a caterpillar on the fields, you are
gnawing away at the full seed of joy, exuding the slime of despair and sorrow.
Your truth is like a rusted sword in the hands of a night assassin, and I shall
condemn you to death as an assassin. But first I want to look into your eyes.
Mayhap only cowards fear them, and brave men are spurred on to struggle and
victory. Then will you merit not death but a reward. Look at me, Lazarus.”
At
first it seemed to divine Augustus as if a friend were looking at him, so soft,
so alluring, so gently fascinating was the gaze of Lazarus. It promised not
horror but quiet rest, and the Infinite dwelt there as a fond mistress, a
compassionate sister, a mother. And ever stronger grew its gentle embrace,
until he felt, as it were, the breath of a mouth hungry for kisses... Then it
seemed as if iron bones protruded in a ravenous grip, and closed upon him in an
iron band; and cold nails touched his heart, and slowly, slowly sank into it.
“It
pains me,” said divine Augustus, growing pale; “but look, Lazarus, look!”
Ponderous
gates, shutting off eternity, appeared to be slowly swinging open, and through
the growing aperture poured in, coldly and calmly, the awful horror of the
Infinite. Boundless Emptiness and Boundless Gloom entered like two shadows,
extinguishing the sun, removing the ground from under the feet, and the cover
from over the head. And the pain in his icy heart ceased.
“Look
at me, look at me, Lazarus!” commanded Augustus, staggering...
Time
ceased and the beginning of things came perilously near to the end. The throne
of Augustus, so recently erected, fell to pieces, and emptiness took the place
of the throne and of Augustus. Rome fell silently into ruins. A new city rose
in its place, and it too was erased by emptiness. Like phantom giants, cities,
kingdoms, and countries swiftly fell and disappeared into emptiness—swallowed
up in the black maw of the Infinite...
“Cease,”
commanded the Emperor. Already the accent of indifference was in his voice. His
arms hung powerless, and his eagle eyes flashed and were dimmed again,
struggling against overwhelming darkness.
“You
have killed me, Lazarus,” he said drowsily.
These
words of despair saved him. He thought of the people, whose shield he was
destined to be, and a sharp, redeeming pang pierced his dull heart. He thought
of them doomed to perish, and he was filled with anguish. First they seemed
bright shadows in the gloom of the Infinite.—How terrible! Then they appeared
as fragile vessels with life-agitated blood, and hearts that knew both sorrow
and great joy.—And he thought of them with tenderness.
And
so thinking and feeling, inclining the scales now to the side of life, now to
the side of death, he slowly returned to life, to find in its suffering and joy
a refuge from the gloom, emptiness and fear of the Infinite.
“No,
you did not kill me, Lazarus,” said he firmly. “But I will kill you. Go!”
Evening
came and divine Augustus partook of food and drink with great joy. But there
were moments when his raised arm would remain suspended in the air, and the
light of his shining, eager eyes was dimmed. It seemed as if an icy wave of
horror washed against his feet. He was vanquished but not killed, and coldly
awaited his doom, like a black shadow. His nights were haunted by horror, but
the bright days still brought him the joys, as well as the sorrows, of life.
Next
day, by order of the Emperor, they burned out Lazarus’ eyes with hot irons and
sent him home. Even Augustus dared not kill him.
* * *
Lazarus returned to the desert and the
desert received him with the breath of the hissing wind and the ardour of the
glowing sun. Again he sat on the stone with matted beard uplifted; and two
black holes, where the eyes had once been, looked dull and horrible at the sky.
In the distance the Holy City surged and roared restlessly, but near him all
was deserted and still. No one approached the place where Lazarus, miraculously
raised from the dead, passed his last days, for his neighbours had long since
abandoned their homes. His cursed knowledge, driven by the hot irons from his
eyes deep into the brain, lay there in ambush; as if from ambush it might
spring out upon men with a thousand unseen eyes. No one dared to look at
Lazarus.
And
in the evening, when the sun, swollen crimson and growing larger, bent its way
toward the west, blind Lazarus slowly groped after it. He stumbled against
stones and fell; corpulent and feeble, he rose heavily and walked on; and
against the red curtain of sunset his dark form and outstretched arms gave him
the semblance of a cross.
It
happened once that he went and never returned. Thus ended the second life of
Lazarus, who for three days had been in the mysterious thraldom of death and
then was miraculously raised from the dead.
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